The Do’s and Don’ts of Sending Long Messages to Your Ex

Breaking up with someone can be a painful experience, and the aftermath can be even more challenging. It’s easy to feel the urge to reach out to your ex, especially when you’re feeling lonely, upset, or just wanting to rehash things. But before you hit send on that lengthy message, consider the potential consequences.

While it’s tempting to pour your heart out, sending long messages to your ex can sometimes do more harm than good. If you’re struggling with the aftermath of a breakup, it’s crucial to navigate this delicate situation thoughtfully. Here's a guide to help you determine when it’s appropriate to send a message and what to avoid.

Do’s

Acknowledge the Breakup

If you’re sending a message, it’s important to acknowledge the fact that you are no longer together. Avoid acting as if things are the same as before. This will help to manage expectations and avoid giving your ex false hope.

Be Concise and Respectful

Keep your messages short and sweet. Avoid long rambling messages that could be overwhelming or interpreted as needy. Focus on conveying your message clearly and respectfully.

Address a Specific Issue

If you need to communicate something specific, like returning a borrowed item or discussing a shared expense, state your purpose clearly. Avoid using this as an opportunity to rehash old arguments or attempt to rekindle the relationship.

Respect Their Boundaries

If your ex has explicitly asked you not to contact them, respect their wishes. Giving them space can help them move on and allow you to focus on your own healing.

Don’ts

Avoid Unnecessary Contact

Unless there is a genuine reason to communicate, avoid reaching out just to talk about your feelings, reminisce about the past, or check in. It's crucial to allow both of you space and time to heal.

Don’t Send Long, Emotional Messages

Resist the urge to pour your heart out in lengthy messages detailing your pain or regret. This can be overwhelming for your ex and might lead to misunderstandings or unwanted emotional baggage.

Don’t Make Demands or Accusations

Avoid using the message as a platform to blame, demand, or criticize your ex. This can create further tension and damage your relationship.

Don’t Be Pushy or Insistent

Respect their responses, even if they are not what you want to hear. Avoid pressuring them to respond or engage in conversation. Let them process things at their own pace.

Final Thoughts

Sending a message to your ex can be a tricky endeavor, but by keeping these do’s and don’ts in mind, you can increase the chances of a respectful and productive interaction.

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